Introduction

I've always dabbled with journals. I had a greatestjournal (remember when that existed?), a livejournal, and I have a regular ol' written diary. Problem is, I've always had a hard time sticking to them. My diary is still half empty and the first entry was in '04. For the average person, it wouldn't really seem a problem. For myself, however, it is. First of all I tend to be sentimental and like looking back at old photos and writings. But more importantly, I'm a creative writing major, so logically I should be writing my ass off daily. I'm wondering if this blog will help me at least do a bit more writing.

I'm at an interesting stage at my life at the moment to write about. It's the July before my last year at college. I have a year before the ever-looming "real world." I came to college with a hastely made decision to be a creative writing major. Within the last year and a half, I have doused myself with theatre. I've always loved Theatre as a hobby. It all started with acting lessons with a local actor, Bob Fallon, at the Margerat Egan Center back in elementary school. Of course I was also taking crafts and cereamic classes while joining Chorus at school. I've always been atristic. I remember the first thing I wanted to be when I grew up was an artist in third grade. I think I actually focused on physical art more than performance art in my public school days. Sure, I was in Drama Club in both middle and high school, but I was choosing art classes and art clubs along side drama.

Acting from a young age has helped me overcome some shyness and stage fright (not that I don't still get the jitters before I go onstage). However, I was always the heavier girl who got cast as "the nurse," "the principal," "the police officer" or not at all. Thus my confidence in pursuing such a career was always getting let down.

My first two years of college weren't much different. I was cast in only 2 plays. The first, only one person who auditioned didn't get a role, and the second I didn't even audition for--they were just asking for extras. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful for the stage time, but I didn't feel quite like I belonged.

What prompted me to try and pursue my passion to be an actress may sound crazy. In March of '08, I went on my school's honor's trip to NYC to see Spring Awakening. All I knew was that I was getting to go to NYC for the day with my then boyfriend and see a Broadway show for $20. Also, I would be able to meet up with my friend, Jen, who goes to school near the city and get her in to see the show for $30. Obviously I was sold. Even if the show sucked, who could beat a deal like that? Well the show didn't suck. It was actually amazing (and admittedly, had some nice eye candy) I spent the first half thinking the girl who played Ilse was an RWU alumni. Looking at the program at intermission let me know she wasn't. I then spent the intermission talking to the professor sitting behind me (who later would become like a father to me while studying abroad in London) about the symbolic nature of the themes and set.

Jen and I loved the show so much that we were determined to see it again...onstage. We got tickets for the following July (or was it August...) to sit onstage. It happened to be the first week Hunter Parrish would be Melchior. She was a Weeds fan but I only know him as the white kid in Freedom Writers (good movie).
Sitting onstage literally changed my life. It felt amazing to be on a Broadway stage, among the action. We felt like part of the cast. We saw them wink and point at each other. We even saw the boys trying to crack up Hunter while he had his back turned on the audience. It reminded me of everything I loved about theatre--the comradeship, the energy, the art. I knew that was where I belonged. Onstage. It felt right.

I remember going home and emailing the aforementioned professor about the experience and how my passion for acting had been re-ignited.

Last fall ('08) I spent an amazing semester studying theatre abroad in London. Six of us even got our own acting workshop with a West End and Broadway director. I wish I could go back and do even more.
When I returned in the spring, I was cast in a senior directing project which was The Bald Soprano as Mary. Our director, a friend of mine, was amazing and I learned a lot about myself and acting under her care. I also learned how much respect I have for techies after working as a stage hand and prop master for Little Shop of Horrors. Mad props (wow bad pun). It also made me realize how much I want to be in the spotlight. It killed sitting backstage, watching my friends doing what I ached to be doing.

This summer I've decided to put myself out there more and build my resume. My resume that I had to make for my musical theatre class was in pitiful shape. If I eliminated high school, the list was very sad. So far this summer I had my first "film" stint. A New Haven Theatre Company member has created this type of kareoke theatre called UBRSTAR (I thought it was "uber star"but found out it was "you be are star"). I acted in the video for "Summer Nights" from Grease.
I auditioned for some stage readings and a student theatre company production. I didn't make either. I was frustrated and felt like things were looking hopeless (many auditions had occured during finals or where too far away). Then one more audition popped up for another student group. I ended up going to the audition and landing the role I read for: Emily from Bang! Bang! You're Dead. I got the call while with a friend in New York, ironically going to a casting agency audition (turned out we had enough experience that they didn't need us to read sides and we were just told to email our headshot and resume).
Rehearsals start tomorrow and I'm really excited. Without a job, I've felt bored all summer so far and like I've been waiting for something to happen. Hopefully this is it.

Far too tired to write more. Off to bed.